my predictions for book 7

[antpower]

Like everyone else on the internets, I fear for the spoilers and so I am running away. (Also, if I don't stop faffing around I am never going to get my rereads done.) Course, just in case I am right and need proof of my awesomeness next week when everybody is all OMG I NEVER EXPECTED GILDEROY LOCKHART TO BE A HORCRUX AND VOLDEMORT'S SECRET LOVE BUNNY, I figure I should get a few things down while I still can.



1. Obviously I agree with all the usual stuff: Neville will defeat Bellatrix, Lupin will defeat Wormtail and probably also that scary werewolf guy, Wormtail will save Harry at some point, Percy will probably die in some redeeming heroic act, Mundungus nicked one of the Horcruxes or something otherwise important from Grimmauld Place, they'll have to go back to Godric's Hollow, all of that stuff that everybody knows needs to be sorted out, I am on board with it. Also, the veil thingie needs to be explained and other stuff with the DoM also.

2. Somebody close to Harry who seems trusty will betray him. I am tipping either Hagrid (on account of he's kind of dumb) or Dobby (on account of he's kind of dumb too and used to work for the Malfoys).

3. I still think Harry is a Horcrux but I don't think he will die, I just think maybe he'll become Squibified or something. And he will marry Ginny but possibly pine for his lost love, Ron.

4. Snape will be revealed to be quite literally made of awesome, and his awesome will save the world. James and Sirius will return from the dead just to apologise for being mean to him and then there will be a big feasty party in Snape's honour. And Remus and Undead!Sirius will have loads of very hot mansex all over the place

5. Nothing bad will happen to Ron Weasley ever. He will help Harry defeat evil by being very brave and awesome, while remaining absolutely unharmed and then they will raise a statue of him right in the middle of Diagon Alley and Ron will retire to a happy life of pies and broomsticks. He will DEFINITELY not die to save Harry, as Harry will not need him to. Nor will he be disfigured, maimed, injured or otherwise hurt. Because nothing bad is going to happen to Ron Weasley. Ever. Despite all the horrible foreshadowing in the other books.

6. I think everybody who ever got the Dementor's Kiss will rise up as zombie-like creatures who are controlled by Voldie and eat brains. Just because it would be awesome and then David Tennant could return for the DH movie. He would make a very sexy zombie.

7. I think they're going to have to go to Durmstrang and visit Krum. Because why else would you begin a story thread like that and have nothing come of it?

8. Obviously McGonagall is going to hook up with Oliver Wood. There is no greater love than that of an ex-Quidditch captain for his ex-Head of House.

9. Draco will marry Blaise Zabini and settle down in Hogsmeade, where they will open a stylish robes store.

10. Nothing bad is going to happen to Remus either.



I think that's all I've got. Have I missed anything? What does everybody else think???

Comments

[klave.livejournal.com]

I want Snape to be made of awesome too!!!! My friend Liz always thought Snape was bad, but I want so badly for him to be good! He has so much potential! Also, I am rereading HBP, and find Inferi very creepy, so I'm not sure I like your zombie plan.

[ant-power.livejournal.com]

I am so confident that Snape will not be evil that I would put money on it. I need to find some dodgy bookmaker who is taking bets on HP, I could totally clean up with my predictions!

I'm not even up to HBP in my rereads yet, I'm still only halfway through OotP. I am never going to finish them!!!

[klave.livejournal.com]

I just finished HBP last night, and there is NO WAY that Snape can be evil. I bet it tore him up.

Omg, I am of age! That means that I can go to the bookies and make bets!!!! Also the bingo and the offie, and buy knives and pornos, lol.

You will finish them, I know you will!

[slumber.livejournal.com]

I like these predictions. All of them. Clearly you should have written the whole series yourself, and maybe then I'd not have to worry about things like Ron's fate and whether Blaise Zabini's awesomeness will ever be revealed. ♥

[ant-power.livejournal.com]

Yep, I am very smart!!!

Don't worry, Blaise's awesomeness speaks for itself!!!

(OMG, I'm starting to panic!!!)

[lvlysnidrus.livejournal.com]

Erm...they won't have to go to Durmstrang. Unless Krum's a professor or something. He's graduated already.

[ant-power.livejournal.com]

Yeah but Durmstrang is Unplottable and all that, isn't it, so if they need to go there to get some sort of dark artifact/horcrux thinger, they will need somebody who knows where it is!!

[lvlysnidrus.livejournal.com]

Ahhh, s'true.

[hobbitheart.livejournal.com]

OMG I love all of this and agree wholeheartedly especially with Snape's awesomeness and nothing bad happening to Ron EVER because I will cry terribly for years after I've closed the book. Same for Remus. Also, zombies and giants and sexy centaurs are all good with me. AND and Hermione and Ron clearly have to get it on at some stage. That much is bleedingly obvious.

It's times like this I'm grateful to be away from the spoilery internets and just enjoy not having a clue what will happen (which is something I usually detest with as much passion as Harry loathes Snape).

I think Draco Malfoy might be dead, but would also not be surprised if he turned up at the Order HQ. All of my extensive theories I'm writing on paper, not LJ, but if you'd like to read them, I'll certainly share.

Thanks for the opportunity to get a little excited :D!

[ant-power.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm keeping well away from spoilers of any kind.

I think you're right about Draco, he's most likely toast. If he starts working for the Order though, it will seem a bit too fanfic.

I really want to read your theories! All of them!! Theories are awesome!

I am crazy excited!!!

[potterette.livejournal.com]

Having read the book, these "predictions" are ten times funnier. I personally felt that the absense of points 6, 8 and 9 let the book down a little :P

*goes off to read your review*

[ant-power.livejournal.com]

Obviously, if I had written book 7, there would be much more of the chuckles and less of the tears!