Doctor Who: According to Ant
Jul. 29th, 2006 03:19 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
antpowerI have no icon appropriate for this post. Oh well.
I never liked Doctor Who as a kid. I thought it was boring and creepy and surely the Daleks just had an ‘off’ button. But![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
sandy_phoenix asked me to watch it, and I love her, so I did.
And now I’m hooked. Hooked like a crack whore. I watched the entire first season of the new series yesterday. (Is that the correct terminology? Or should I say 9th Doctor season? Or Eccleston season? It’s a whole new fandom and I’m hopelessly lost! Help!) Anyway, I watched the whole season in one gluttonous Who-fest of Wonder, and while I’m waiting for the next season (season 2? 10th Doctor season? Pretty David Tennant season?), I am going to share with all you lucky folk something we cool kids like to call...
Doctor Who: According to Ant
Episode 1
Rose: I live like common people, just like in the Pulp song.
Dummies: we are freaky even before we come to life.
Doctor: I have goofily oversized features, yet am still manly and charming. I also give convincing yet unintelligible explanations about things. Run for your life!
Rose: I am clearly smitten and possibly also very freaked out.
TARDIS: *lurks*
Rose’s Life: *is arse*
Doctor: I am spying on Rose through the cat flap. Because I lurve her.
Rose: Are you spying on me through the cat flap because you lurve me?
Doctor: Nope, I am just here for the creepy plastic arm.
Nobody: *believes him*
Rose: I am stalking the Doctor and finding out useful backstory. Because I lurve him. And also because he has a nifty vanishing blue box.
Clive: I provide foreboding exposition.
Mickey the Idiot: *eaten by wheelie bin*
Wheelie Bin: pwnd!
Plastic!Mickey: I am plastic but nobody notices.
Doctor: *steals Mickey’s head*
Mickey’s head: *melts*
Rose & the Doctor: *run about holding hands*
Rose: I shall foil the Nesting Consciousness with my awesome gymnastic skillz.
Nesting Consciousness: *foiled*
Doctor: You can come explore the universe with me if you like, but there won’t be any chips.
Rose: Dude, I freaking love chips.
Doctor: kbai
Doctor: *comes back* I was only kidding about the chips.
Rose: Yays! Let’s live in your nifty blue box and eat chips and travel about and canoodle and be happy forever and ever!!
Doctor: Yays!!
Ant’s Final Thoughts: Taking care of the lottery money at work means that you get to go on wicked cool time traveling adventures in a nifty blue box. If you don’t notice when your boyfriend is replaced by a freakish plastic clone then it may be a sign things aren’t working out between the two of you. In this case, running away for wicked cool adventures with a manly but goofy-looking stranger is generally the best option.
Episode 2
Doctor: It’s totally not at all insensitive to introduce a girl to time travel by showing her world getting fried up like bacon.
Tree: It’s totally not at all weird to give you cuttings of my ancestors. Because you are hot and I want to have tree sex with you.
Doctor: I will flirt with you to make up for all the sexual mojo Rose has going on with every other male in the series.
Rose: I hate plantlife.
Evil Creepy Guys with Really Big Claws: We are evil and creepy, but no one seems to notice.
Blue Man Group: We have to live in eternal servitude on account of how the future hates performance art.
Time: *boggles Rose’s mind*
Doctor: *goes for tree sex*
Plot: *happens*
Doctor: I am manly and commanding and shall foil all evil plots.
Tree: *burns up*
Rose: *almost burns up*
Earth: *burns up and explodes*
Doctor: I am so full of darkness and angst that I will let the freaky trampoline person blow up.
Rose: Chips!!
Doctor: Chips!!
Ant’s Final Thought: It is never a good idea to accept gifts from strange men in black hoods. As a rule, steer clear of anyone resembling a ringwraith, as no good ever comes of it. Also, the less flammable you are, the more chance you have of getting nifty Time Lord sex.
Episode 3
Dead Old Lady: I freaking love Charles Dickens so much I will come back from the dead just to see him.
Time: *still boggling Rose’s mind*
Dickens: Bah, humbug.
Rose: *is pretty*
Dead Old Lady: Dickens freaking rox00rs!!!
Doctor: Dickens freaking rox00rs!!!
Zombies: *are blue*
Rose: Dickens. Whatevs.
Stuff: *happens*
Doctor: I make awesome puns.
Rose: Freaky blue dead people freak me right out.
Freaky Blue Dead People: *evil*
Doctor: Oopsy!
Rose & the Doctor: *hold hands some more* We totally lurve each other!
Zombies: We totally want to see Dickens too! Dickens freaking rox00rs!
Psychic Maid Chick: *blows shit up*
Everyone: Hoorah for foiling zombie thingers!!
Ant’s Final Thought: Transplanting unknown alien spirits into corpses is never a good idea, even if the humble servant girl says so. Even Charles Dickens ships Doctor/Rose, and everyone knows that Dickens freaking rox00rs. Electricity is heaps safer than gas, even when you aren’t plagued with gas-loving freaky blue dead people. Less stinky too.
Sleep time now. More of my witty insights into Doctor Who tomorrow. Yes, I can hardly wait either!
I never liked Doctor Who as a kid. I thought it was boring and creepy and surely the Daleks just had an ‘off’ button. But
sandy_phoenix asked me to watch it, and I love her, so I did.And now I’m hooked. Hooked like a crack whore. I watched the entire first season of the new series yesterday. (Is that the correct terminology? Or should I say 9th Doctor season? Or Eccleston season? It’s a whole new fandom and I’m hopelessly lost! Help!) Anyway, I watched the whole season in one gluttonous Who-fest of Wonder, and while I’m waiting for the next season (season 2? 10th Doctor season? Pretty David Tennant season?), I am going to share with all you lucky folk something we cool kids like to call...
Doctor Who: According to Ant
Episode 1
Rose: I live like common people, just like in the Pulp song.
Dummies: we are freaky even before we come to life.
Doctor: I have goofily oversized features, yet am still manly and charming. I also give convincing yet unintelligible explanations about things. Run for your life!
Rose: I am clearly smitten and possibly also very freaked out.
TARDIS: *lurks*
Rose’s Life: *is arse*
Doctor: I am spying on Rose through the cat flap. Because I lurve her.
Rose: Are you spying on me through the cat flap because you lurve me?
Doctor: Nope, I am just here for the creepy plastic arm.
Nobody: *believes him*
Rose: I am stalking the Doctor and finding out useful backstory. Because I lurve him. And also because he has a nifty vanishing blue box.
Clive: I provide foreboding exposition.
Mickey the Idiot: *eaten by wheelie bin*
Wheelie Bin: pwnd!
Plastic!Mickey: I am plastic but nobody notices.
Doctor: *steals Mickey’s head*
Mickey’s head: *melts*
Rose & the Doctor: *run about holding hands*
Rose: I shall foil the Nesting Consciousness with my awesome gymnastic skillz.
Nesting Consciousness: *foiled*
Doctor: You can come explore the universe with me if you like, but there won’t be any chips.
Rose: Dude, I freaking love chips.
Doctor: kbai
Doctor: *comes back* I was only kidding about the chips.
Rose: Yays! Let’s live in your nifty blue box and eat chips and travel about and canoodle and be happy forever and ever!!
Doctor: Yays!!
Ant’s Final Thoughts: Taking care of the lottery money at work means that you get to go on wicked cool time traveling adventures in a nifty blue box. If you don’t notice when your boyfriend is replaced by a freakish plastic clone then it may be a sign things aren’t working out between the two of you. In this case, running away for wicked cool adventures with a manly but goofy-looking stranger is generally the best option.
Episode 2
Doctor: It’s totally not at all insensitive to introduce a girl to time travel by showing her world getting fried up like bacon.
Tree: It’s totally not at all weird to give you cuttings of my ancestors. Because you are hot and I want to have tree sex with you.
Doctor: I will flirt with you to make up for all the sexual mojo Rose has going on with every other male in the series.
Rose: I hate plantlife.
Evil Creepy Guys with Really Big Claws: We are evil and creepy, but no one seems to notice.
Blue Man Group: We have to live in eternal servitude on account of how the future hates performance art.
Time: *boggles Rose’s mind*
Doctor: *goes for tree sex*
Plot: *happens*
Doctor: I am manly and commanding and shall foil all evil plots.
Tree: *burns up*
Rose: *almost burns up*
Earth: *burns up and explodes*
Doctor: I am so full of darkness and angst that I will let the freaky trampoline person blow up.
Rose: Chips!!
Doctor: Chips!!
Ant’s Final Thought: It is never a good idea to accept gifts from strange men in black hoods. As a rule, steer clear of anyone resembling a ringwraith, as no good ever comes of it. Also, the less flammable you are, the more chance you have of getting nifty Time Lord sex.
Episode 3
Dead Old Lady: I freaking love Charles Dickens so much I will come back from the dead just to see him.
Time: *still boggling Rose’s mind*
Dickens: Bah, humbug.
Rose: *is pretty*
Dead Old Lady: Dickens freaking rox00rs!!!
Doctor: Dickens freaking rox00rs!!!
Zombies: *are blue*
Rose: Dickens. Whatevs.
Stuff: *happens*
Doctor: I make awesome puns.
Rose: Freaky blue dead people freak me right out.
Freaky Blue Dead People: *evil*
Doctor: Oopsy!
Rose & the Doctor: *hold hands some more* We totally lurve each other!
Zombies: We totally want to see Dickens too! Dickens freaking rox00rs!
Psychic Maid Chick: *blows shit up*
Everyone: Hoorah for foiling zombie thingers!!
Ant’s Final Thought: Transplanting unknown alien spirits into corpses is never a good idea, even if the humble servant girl says so. Even Charles Dickens ships Doctor/Rose, and everyone knows that Dickens freaking rox00rs. Electricity is heaps safer than gas, even when you aren’t plagued with gas-loving freaky blue dead people. Less stinky too.
Sleep time now. More of my witty insights into Doctor Who tomorrow. Yes, I can hardly wait either!
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Date: 2006-07-29 02:19 am (UTC)