(no subject)

[antpower]

As you all know, I'm very sick. I've got this debilitating illness that makes it hard for me to get out of bed, let alone do anything once I'm out of bed.

I was thinking about just deleting my LJ completely, but there are some comms I really like reading and I don't want to lose my old entries and whatnot, plus I'm paid up for another year or so, so that just seemed like a stupid idea.

So instead I've basically deleted nearly all my flist. Don't be offended if I've defriended you (ooh, rhymey!), it doesn't mean anything except that you're not a comm or someone I speak to on a regular basis, or whatever. I'm not going to start flocking posts or anything, so feel free to keep me friended and commenting and whatnot (or not, either way is good). But it doesn't mean that I don't like you or that I don't enjoy reading your journal. It just means that I am too sick to do much of anything at the moment. Which is arse, any way you look at it.

It just doesn't seem fair to have ppl on my flist when I am not able to read their journals and so forth.

Anyways, my sausages are burning so I have to go.

<3333

Comments

[saphreanth.livejournal.com]

I've been wanting to say this to you for a long time now and couldn't find a good place, but I really hope you get better soon. I remember constantly telling you that when we used to still chat a lot and the sentiment is still very much there. :D

I'm not going to lie and say your defriending me hasn't hurt me because I consider you an extremely good friend, even now though we rarely talk anymore. I suppose this good chance for me to actually say certain things I want to say to you but...haven't. Whenever I think of you I want to tell you...well, how much I still think of you, *grins*. But the last few times I talked to you I got the feeling you weren't really that interested in me anymore. Which isn't your fault and not something I blame you for, of course, because, I mean, it's just not your fault but it's stuff like this that I just take way too personally. But I mean, I always take things very personally and you have far larger issues than seeing to my happiness, haha.

Maybe the only reason I feel so bad about this is because we used to be amazing friends (at least I thought so) and there was so much we shared (my Harry to your Ron! OotF! Spam memes! IT! It was all great fun :>)...I always find it terribly hard letting go of things like this because I rarely make as good friends with people as I did with you. I know that defriending on LJ hardly means anything - it's really just a click of a button - but I'm stupidly sensitive about this stuff because of the fact that I'm a severely insecure person, heh.

Anyhow, this is really not your problem at all, but just something I needed/wanted to say to you. I love you always and hope you get lots and lots better because you deserve it as you are an absolutely fantastic person and you need to do whatever it is that will make you feel even the slightest bit better. I hope we cross paths somewhere in the future. (Wow, that sounds really dramatic. :| It's not meant to so imagine it surrounded with sparkly bits or something funny to make it lighter). :x

[ant-power.livejournal.com]

*huggles*

It doesn't mean anything at all! It's not as though I'm deleting you from my life. There is still Y!M, and I will still check your LJ from time to time to see what's going on with you. And hopefully one day when I'm feeling better I will refriend everyone back again.

It's certainly also not that I've been uninterested when we've chatted, it's just hard for me to seem enthusiastic about anything for more than just a *squee* and a YAYS here and there. I'm drugged up to my eyeballs most of the time, so I'm a bit vague about everything really!

And you know, I love you too!! *squishes*