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Arashi Live Costume Picspam - part 1
Once upon a time there were five boys who had a dream. It was a simple dream, a beautiful dream, and these boys worked harder than actually humanly possible to make this dream a reality. In fact, one could even say they were for dream. That dream was to cover the world in RAINBOWS and SPARKLES.
Let's take a look at this heartwarming adventure and follow these boys as they become men. (Except Jun, who kind of becomes a girl.)
CAN THESE BOYS POSSIBLY KEEP THEIR DREAM A-LIVE!!! XP
Note: most of this first lot of caps are super low quality because they were taken from fancams and stuff. But never fear, the shiny shininess of Arashi's costumes can overcome any obstacle!! All screencaps are taken from video from Arashian Files.
So here we have A VERY SERIOUS AND THINKY-TYPE PICTORIAL ESSAY ON THE EVOLUTION OF ARASHI'S LIVE COSTUMES.
PART 1: ARASHI, THE EARLY YEARS! From Suppin Arashi to All or Nothing
SUPPIN ARASHI
Costume 1: Shiny Gold Shiny
This being Arashi's very first concert ever, of course they start with a bang. They are causing a storm throughout the world after all. This storm comes in shiny gold, with a shiny shiny undershirt. And big pants. You'll soon notice a trend of Ohno wearing outfits well, while the others look a little like Christmas tree decorations. This also begins from the very start.
I think it's due to his shoulders being so square. Or maybe the costume designer just likes him better.
Costume 2: BI.CY.CLE for dream
This is the first time in a live that we see Jun in pink and also in a long coat. Not a terribly amusing outfit, other than the fact that Jun is thinner than a stick of Pocky, and possibly even Kame.
Costume 3: Can't take my eyes off Sho's banana-coloured tracksuit
Sho's solo, featuring Sho as a banana and the rest of Arashi as the Princes of Darkness. Or possibly those sparkly vampires from Twilight.
Costume 4: Pink Sparkle Suits
Here we see the beginning of the trend wherein the costume designer doesn't bother measuring Arashi for their suits, especially Nino. This is possibly because their outfits are hand-me-downs from TOKIO or SMAP or something, who are all much bigger than Arashi. Especially Nino. Having said that, he looks A-OK in this cap.
Costume 5: My Art Teacher Had This Jacket in 1992
I think my Nanna used to have wallpaper like this in her beach shack too. This will also be a recurring theme. Here also begins my theory that Nino seriously pranked the costume designer at some point and has been paying for it ever since. Shoulder pads are not his friend. He still looks cute though.
Costume 6: Normal and Yet Not
Even when Arashi wear something normal, like a jacket and pants, you will notice that they like to add something unique to jazz it up. Like making it orange. Or putting a weird bow thing around the waist. I know it looks like he has a jacket or something tied around his waist, but trust me, he doesn't.
There seems to be a point in every concert where Jun decides to go shirtless, and this is that point for Suppin Arashi.
Costume 7: Slinky Silver Sparkle
My art teacher also had this top. It's impossible to tell from this cap, but when they dance in this top, it sparkles and clings in a very becoming way. This is because they are Arashi and therefore awesome. Please do not try this at home.
Costume 8: Oversized Lounge Singer Suits
There is a strange phenomenon when it comes to Arashi live costumes, wherein the first time you see them, your mind blanks out with an overwhelming omgwtfness and you are temporarily blinded by the SPARKLY, and yet the second time you see the same costume, you think "okay, it's not so bad" and then by the third time it's like "okay, that kind of looks really awesome". While the Oversized Lounge Singer Suits aren't terrible, they do look like something Great Aunt Mildred might've worn to your sister's wedding. In the 70s. However, the point is, I really kind of like them.
It's the ruffly shirt that gets you. And the sequined flower. And the general hotness of Aiba. And right here is the beginning of a long-standing love affair of mine, which is ARASHI DANCING WITH CHAIRS! It might seem strange right now, but keep it in mind for the future and soon you'll be saying to me "Ant, you were right all along, Arashi/chairs is OTP!". Or maybe I've just been looking at these dodgy screencaps too long. Either way.
But honestly, it makes Nino look chubby.
How is that even possible??
LOL, they're JAZZ BALLET DANCE FIGHTING!!!
Costume 9: They Should Just Let Nino Dress Himself
I think it's adorable how the other members are involved in each other's solos. Ohno is singing with Nino, obviously, but you probably can't tell that the little orangey-red dot over the back is Sho playing piano.
Costume 10: Matsujun Gives Me Nightmares
What's that you say? A clown playing the violin, that's possibly THE MOST TERRIFYING THING EVER, but what does it have to do with Arashi?
Well, my friend, prepare to be shocked!! THAT CLOWN IS MATSUJUN!
But don't be afraid! He soon sheds the clown costume for a sparkly silver and pink tuxedo! I know, right! How can that much awesome fit into one skinny little man??? He's also suspended in midair at this point.
I kind of miss his adorkably awkward stage.
Costume 11: Red Suits, part 1
It didn't just start with the Wish PV, the red suits go way back!! Remember them, for they will return!
It's okay, it's not wrong to lust over Chibi!Ohno. Everybody does it.
Costume 12: Military Coats, part 1
This is my favourite look for Arashi, I think. Military, I mean, not the fluro green sequins. Though, they do have their place in my heart as well.
Though, look at what that poor Junior is wearing. I think Johnny must have shares in a child trauma facility or something.
Costume 13: Hawaiian DJs, Yo
Fake fur vests and hula pants. I think they speak for themselves.
But in case they don't, I'll repeat it. That was fake fur vests and hula pants.
Except for Aiba, who is in a fake fur poncho and hula pants. It makes all the difference.
Costume 14: Head on a Box
Because his shoulders aren't square enough??? I honestly thought he must've had like 18 outfits underneath this one, but no. He did have one of those boards they sign and throw into the crowd, but it wasn't really that big.
Costume 15: Kimonos of Matsumiya Love
They only wore this for like 15 seconds or something, but it was an awesome 15 seconds. It involved Nino throwing Jun to the floor and climbing on top of him.
Costume 16: We Like Short Shorts
The thing is, if you're going to put a bunch of teenage boys into incredibly tight gold sequined shorts, it's a genius idea to have them playing the drums at crotch-level at the time, to warrant a whole bunch of close-up shots on the said shorts.
They are really tight shorts.
...sorry, where was I???
Costume 17: Arashi Should Be A Punk Band
Because Aiba dressed as a punk? Hottest thing ever.
And Nino dressed as a punk? Also the hottest thing ever.
And the two of them being punks together?? Hotter than the sum of their very hot parts!!
Gah, Suppin Arashi is awesome!
Costume 18: Rocky Arashi Picture Sho
Maybe I've built up a tolerance to Arashi's costumes, because up until this point, my brain hadn't exploded once from them. Okay, so there was Matsuclown and the hula pants and the Shiny Gold Shiny, but they just seemed Arashish and cute. I really think they were just lulling us into a false sense of security for this.
I feel that this may be the start of something beautiful.
It's wrong, but the thing that really disturbs me is that fake skin-coloured bit under Ohno's top.
It's okay to lust after Chibi!Sho too.
I love how he has the waist of his Tommy Hilfiger undies showing, he's such a gangsta, yo.
Costume 19: Aerodynamic Cowboys
Nino wants to know why the hell his hat has to be 20 times bigger than his head.
It's so you can FLY, Nino! Fly like a pretty butterfly!
Sho looks good as a cowboy.
So does Aiba. But then, Aiba can wear pretty much anything. It's the power of his awesome.
But Matsujun refuses to wear the ridiculously oversized hat. This is clearly how he got the fashionista reputation, because it sure wasn't from the pink bike shorts.
And Ohno?? He just looks like the most adorable thing ever. See how his hat is flopping down on one side but not the other? He's cuter than puppies!! He's like 20 years old here, right?
He is so cute that his members can't stop molesting him.
This is, of course, another pattern that hasn't changed. And rightly so.
Toma: If this is the sort of crap you have to wear, I hope I never debut.
Number of Outfits: 19
Ant's Awesomeness Rating: 4 sparkly stars out of 5
Conclusion: A very good beginning!
SPRING CONCERT
Costume 1: The Wedding Cake Is Alive And It Hates You
Remember my theory on the costume designer having a grudge against Nino?
THE COAT IS TRYING TO EAT HIM!!! SOMEBODY SAVE HIM, QUICK!! Luckily, Matsujun comes to the rescue, but he has problems of this own to deal with.
Costume 2: Ground Control to Major Arashi
This costume stems from the idea somebody once had for a drama where Arashi were crime-fighters IN SPACE! Okay, I just made that up. But it would be awesome.
The universe is in your hands, Arashi. Use it well.
Costume 3: They Save the Good Material Scraps for KAT-TUN (Or at least they will, some day.)
Somebody took a shirt, a quite decent shirt, and then stuck bits on it. Furry bits and ruffly bits. Then they took pants and stuck other bits on them too. But there is Ohmiya touching, so it's okay. Also, if you squint, you can see that Matsujun is doing the shirtless thing here.
Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's CRIME-FIGHTING ARASHI IN SPACE!!! (Come on, you know you want it.)
Costume 4: Aiba is Made of Two Parts Win, One Part Sex
This looks like a perfectly normal, slightly retro-type outfit for Aiba's solo, right?
HANG ON, WHAT IS THAT ON HIS CROTCH??? It's a leftover bit of material from the previous costumes and they thought they'd just stick it there to be friendly!
Costume 5: Rapper, Newscaster, Cheerleader
Sakurai Sho can do anything. And yes, that is Ueda in the bridesmaids dress behind him.
Costume 6: Oversized Yellow Jacket
It has weird gathered bits. But he wears it well.
Costume 7: MickeyJun? MatsuMouse?
The big hands will also be returning.
All these costumes were only worn for like 8.2 seconds, so I don't really have much to say about them.
Costume 8: Stop, in the Name of LOL
Nino looks fine here, not just because we can't see the spangly silver fringe on his croppy demin jacket, but because WHAT THE HELL, THE JUNIORS ARE DRESSED AS ROAD SIGNS!!!
Costume 9: Xanadu
This would be Aiba, dressed as the White Witch from "The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe" and ON ROLLERSKATES. Or possibly lolerskates, I'm not even sure anymore.
Costume 10: Sparkly Kimonos
They're neither here nor there, really, just very sparkly.
Costume 11: Red Suits, Part 2
This time everyone gets to wear them, not just Ohno. I kind of like them.
Costume 12: Nino is Dapper, or Possibly Colonel Sanders
While I'm not really saying much of interest, I'll use this time to explain how I'm not actually being totally Nino-biased in this concert, it's just that whoever filmed the fancam really loved Nino. Which is understandable, because Nino is awesome. But I did my best to get the other members in.
Costume 13: Sho is Dapper, or Possibly the Messiah
He starts out as a mobster, right, but then goes into this whole Christian imagery bit. I think he's been watching too many Madonna videos or something. But he rips his shirt open in the process, so nobody minds too much. Also, there is chair dancing and that is always good.
Costume 14: Vegetables and Pyjamas, the Dream Collaboration
There is no reason for this, other than Arashi look adorable dancing with giant carrots and corn cobs and things. Unless it's a song about eating a well-balanced diet and I just didn't catch that bit. At any rate, it makes as much sense as the Juniors being road signs.
Then there's this whole interpretive dance bit of Nino punching Ohno and the rest of Arashi and the Juniors getting revenge on Nino by beating him up. It's pretty awesome, but I think it would've been better if they'd have had some chair dancing in there somewhere. Anyway, the suits look comfortable and pyjama-like.
Costume 15: Hey, Say Jumpsuits!
Well, there's no actual HSJ, because they would've been like two years old at this point, and Ohno's isn't in a jumpsuit, but he looks really good. He should wear black more often. Nino looks like he's going to paint the garage or something. And Jun, well he's special.
Costume 16: Happy Twirly Ohno Chest
For the first half of Ohno's solo I was like "why is he wearing an oversized shirt, that is such a waste of hotness", and then he started with the pretty twirly dancing and the shirt went all wooshy and showing off the chest, and then I was happy. XD I know I sound like an airhead. I'm really okay with that.
Costume 17: Trash Monster Christmas Aliens
It's Matsujun's solo, so obviously there are going to be layers of awesomeness, right? The first layer is that of Matsujun's shiny gold suit. The second layer is the fact that he's decorated his microphone stand in frilly.
And the third??? The third is that the other members are wearing THIS...
That would be COLOURFUL ALUMINIUM FOIL... something, I don't even know what... WITH LEOPARD PANTS!! I really wish I had this in HQ, if only so I could work out WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON! They look a little bit like that trash monster thing from Fraggle Rock (if anybody remembers that), only shinier and more colourful!
My mind is officially blown. Not even Ohno can wear that well.
Costume 18: Army of TARDIS
So, there's this long interpretive dance bit, wherein the Juniors try to shoot Arashi for making them wear silly costumes. Matsujun avoids this by escaping into the TARDIS. Because he'd make a really great 11th Doctor and he's hotter than Billie Piper.
Arashi really wear army well.
Especially Nino. He should show his arms more often. I totally didn't mean to make a lame pun then.
Costume 19: Random Use of the Union Jack
I really like these jackets. Ohno's sets off his shoulders well and Nino doesn't look wider than he is tall.
Sho's jacket is best though, I kind of want it for myself.
Costume 20: Trekking in the Andes
These look snuggly. I would love to know what Aiba just said to Nino here.
Number of Outfits: 20 (possibly more, they were swapping them so fast at one point that I may have missed a couple)
Ant's Awesomeness Rating: 2.5 sparkly stars out of 5, mostly because my screencaps suck
Conclusion: But seriously, what the hell were those things????
JOIN THE STORM/ALL OR NOTHING
Costume 1: Dapper Suits of Much Dapperness
At least once a day I'm reminded that Matsujun is actually incredibly hot, and I'm always surprised. I don't know why.
Somehow, Arashi make the one-glove thing super hot and not super lame. And I really want to make a One Love/Glove pun here, but I'm restraining myself. Mostly because I can't think of anything funny.
Costume 2: Super Colourful Trackies of Happiness
Sometimes it makes me happy just looking at them. Especially when they're impersonating kangaroos.
You do realise that one day, Matsujun will rule the world. It will be a world that is equal parts terrifying, hilarious and awesome.
Costume 3: More Like Pinocchio Than Bambi
This outfit really reminds me of a Disney movie. I don't know why. It reminds me of cobbling shoes and magic beans and things like that. I think it's the belt.
Costume 4: A no Arashi (the A is for Awesome)
A no Arashi coats with pyjamas.
At first glance, I thought the pyjamas were zebra-striped, but I was disappointed. The zebra-stripes come later. Also? I kind of want to marry Ohno.
Costume 5: Fluffy Rainbow Love
Basically, if you don't think this is the cutest thing you've seen in your life, it means you have no soulsoul.
It's cuter than puppies.
It's cuter than kittens.
It's cuter than PUPPIES AND KITTENS SNUGGLING TOGETHER!!! WITH NEWBORN BABIES!
It's even cuter than CHINEN!!!! AND THAT'S JUST TOO DAMN CUTE!
Nino looks like a cute little fluffy chicken!!! These are the greatest outfits EVER!
Costume 6: This isSpinal Tap Arashi
How hilarious would it be if like Matsujun got stuck inside the glass box and couldn't get out???
They really want to be IN SPACE, I tell you!!
IN SPACE, FIGHTING CRIME!
Costume 7: Randomly Ugly Green Tracksuit Thing
Another one of those "hardly worth capping because it's kind of boring and they only wear it for two seconds" costumes, BUT I AM DETERMINED TO BE THOROUGH!
Costume 8: Sgt Arashi's Lonely Hearts Club Band
This was unfortunately only worn for a second too, and I couldn't get a good cap of it, but it looked awesome. It was like your basic sequined military coat type thing.
I just realised that is possibly shouldn't seem normal to use the word "basic" along with "sequined military coat".
Costume 9: Bike Riding Again
So, my mother really loves that bike rider guy with the funny name.. Kadel Evans??? She's like he's so amazing and he works really hard and this type of thing, and I was like yeah, but he's not in Arashi! Arashi could ride the Tour De France while doing concerts and dramas and being magos and things. This has nothing to do with the screencap in question, only that Arashi are clearly more awesome than any bike rider ever, and they wear lycra so much better!
Costume 10: Back in Black
They look super good in black.
Costume 11: Yellow Jackets, Black Pants and Dapper Hats
The main point to note is CHAIR DANCING, FTW!
Costume 12: The Red Suit Strikes Back
One day, they might even grow into them!
This time with added snowmen and Juniors carrying candy cane rakes! ...I think.
Costume 13: Everyone Wants To Be A Punk
Sorry, Bambi, I'm not convinced.
Aiba, on the other hand? Hell yeah.
Costume 14: Zebra + Flame Thrower = Total Win
Speaking of Aiba, this has to be the greatest solo ever. It's Aiba, in a zebra coat, with a flame-thrower!!!
That's right. A FLAME-THROWER!
That is the most genius combination of three things ever in the world.
Ever. Also, I didn't get a cap of it, but the JUNIORS ARE DRESSED AS COWS! AND THEY'RE DANCING COW-STYLE! I don't even need to know why.
Costume 15: Nino's jacket actually fits
He reminds me a bit of Ben Lee here, only, you know, not an annoying try-hard. I really like this jacket.
Also? I am obsessed with his chin-mole.
Nino's chin-mole and not Ben Lee's, obviously.
Costume 16: Nice suit, short tie
I like this suit. I meant to take more caps of it, only I got distracted by one of the Juniors possibly being Akanishi Jin but not being able to tell for sure.
Also? This is adorable. Hello, Tackey!
Costume 17: Fuzzy Green Gangster Love
I'm not sure what this is. Is it wool, is it some weird sort of fuzzy nylon stuff or something? It looks amazingly soft and Ohno looks amazingly good in green. I like the red scarf too. Two thumbs up!!
Ah, he's amazing! How the hell can he balance like that?
Maybe it's tweed??? I'm totally not just talking about the outfit because otherwise I'd just spazz on about how pretty he looks. But should it be so adorable that Ohno has a machine gun, or am I actually smitten beyond reason??
Costume 18: But Where Is The Sparkly?
Ah, I love this outfit! I love the coat and scarf! He looks really good in blue. His hair looks super nice here too.
Even the plaid-at-the-front-but-not-at-the-back pants are kind of cool. It all looks so nice that it kind of disappoints me. Maybe there were repercussions from the trash-monster-space-alien incident.
Costume 19: Convicts of Hotness
Arashi have been convicted of CRIMES AGAINST FASHION! OH NOES!! They are sentences to ten years of hard labour! YOU SHOULD'VE USED THE JUNIORS AS HUMAN SHIELDS!! THEY WERE THE ONES DRESSED AS TRAFFIC CONES AND THINGS!
I really like these, even though they're kind of shapeless and dull. I think it's the buttons, I really like the buttons. And Ohno wears it particularly well.
Number of Outfits: 19
Ant's Awesomeness Rating: 3.5 sparkly stars out of 5
Conclusion: Matsujun kept his shirt on, what??
POLLS!
[Poll #1245358]
Next up, Part 2: Arashi the not-so-early years!!
Let's take a look at this heartwarming adventure and follow these boys as they become men. (Except Jun, who kind of becomes a girl.)
CAN THESE BOYS POSSIBLY KEEP THEIR DREAM A-LIVE!!! XP
Note: most of this first lot of caps are super low quality because they were taken from fancams and stuff. But never fear, the shiny shininess of Arashi's costumes can overcome any obstacle!! All screencaps are taken from video from Arashian Files.
So here we have A VERY SERIOUS AND THINKY-TYPE PICTORIAL ESSAY ON THE EVOLUTION OF ARASHI'S LIVE COSTUMES.
PART 1: ARASHI, THE EARLY YEARS! From Suppin Arashi to All or Nothing
SUPPIN ARASHI
Costume 1: Shiny Gold Shiny
This being Arashi's very first concert ever, of course they start with a bang. They are causing a storm throughout the world after all. This storm comes in shiny gold, with a shiny shiny undershirt. And big pants. You'll soon notice a trend of Ohno wearing outfits well, while the others look a little like Christmas tree decorations. This also begins from the very start.
I think it's due to his shoulders being so square. Or maybe the costume designer just likes him better.
Costume 2: BI.CY.CLE for dream
This is the first time in a live that we see Jun in pink and also in a long coat. Not a terribly amusing outfit, other than the fact that Jun is thinner than a stick of Pocky, and possibly even Kame.
Costume 3: Can't take my eyes off Sho's banana-coloured tracksuit
Sho's solo, featuring Sho as a banana and the rest of Arashi as the Princes of Darkness. Or possibly those sparkly vampires from Twilight.
Costume 4: Pink Sparkle Suits
Here we see the beginning of the trend wherein the costume designer doesn't bother measuring Arashi for their suits, especially Nino. This is possibly because their outfits are hand-me-downs from TOKIO or SMAP or something, who are all much bigger than Arashi. Especially Nino. Having said that, he looks A-OK in this cap.
Costume 5: My Art Teacher Had This Jacket in 1992
I think my Nanna used to have wallpaper like this in her beach shack too. This will also be a recurring theme. Here also begins my theory that Nino seriously pranked the costume designer at some point and has been paying for it ever since. Shoulder pads are not his friend. He still looks cute though.
Costume 6: Normal and Yet Not
Even when Arashi wear something normal, like a jacket and pants, you will notice that they like to add something unique to jazz it up. Like making it orange. Or putting a weird bow thing around the waist. I know it looks like he has a jacket or something tied around his waist, but trust me, he doesn't.
There seems to be a point in every concert where Jun decides to go shirtless, and this is that point for Suppin Arashi.
Costume 7: Slinky Silver Sparkle
My art teacher also had this top. It's impossible to tell from this cap, but when they dance in this top, it sparkles and clings in a very becoming way. This is because they are Arashi and therefore awesome. Please do not try this at home.
Costume 8: Oversized Lounge Singer Suits
There is a strange phenomenon when it comes to Arashi live costumes, wherein the first time you see them, your mind blanks out with an overwhelming omgwtfness and you are temporarily blinded by the SPARKLY, and yet the second time you see the same costume, you think "okay, it's not so bad" and then by the third time it's like "okay, that kind of looks really awesome". While the Oversized Lounge Singer Suits aren't terrible, they do look like something Great Aunt Mildred might've worn to your sister's wedding. In the 70s. However, the point is, I really kind of like them.
It's the ruffly shirt that gets you. And the sequined flower. And the general hotness of Aiba. And right here is the beginning of a long-standing love affair of mine, which is ARASHI DANCING WITH CHAIRS! It might seem strange right now, but keep it in mind for the future and soon you'll be saying to me "Ant, you were right all along, Arashi/chairs is OTP!". Or maybe I've just been looking at these dodgy screencaps too long. Either way.
But honestly, it makes Nino look chubby.
How is that even possible??
LOL, they're JAZZ BALLET DANCE FIGHTING!!!
Costume 9: They Should Just Let Nino Dress Himself
I think it's adorable how the other members are involved in each other's solos. Ohno is singing with Nino, obviously, but you probably can't tell that the little orangey-red dot over the back is Sho playing piano.
Costume 10: Matsujun Gives Me Nightmares
What's that you say? A clown playing the violin, that's possibly THE MOST TERRIFYING THING EVER, but what does it have to do with Arashi?
Well, my friend, prepare to be shocked!! THAT CLOWN IS MATSUJUN!
But don't be afraid! He soon sheds the clown costume for a sparkly silver and pink tuxedo! I know, right! How can that much awesome fit into one skinny little man??? He's also suspended in midair at this point.
I kind of miss his adorkably awkward stage.
Costume 11: Red Suits, part 1
It didn't just start with the Wish PV, the red suits go way back!! Remember them, for they will return!
It's okay, it's not wrong to lust over Chibi!Ohno. Everybody does it.
Costume 12: Military Coats, part 1
This is my favourite look for Arashi, I think. Military, I mean, not the fluro green sequins. Though, they do have their place in my heart as well.
Though, look at what that poor Junior is wearing. I think Johnny must have shares in a child trauma facility or something.
Costume 13: Hawaiian DJs, Yo
Fake fur vests and hula pants. I think they speak for themselves.
But in case they don't, I'll repeat it. That was fake fur vests and hula pants.
Except for Aiba, who is in a fake fur poncho and hula pants. It makes all the difference.
Costume 14: Head on a Box
Because his shoulders aren't square enough??? I honestly thought he must've had like 18 outfits underneath this one, but no. He did have one of those boards they sign and throw into the crowd, but it wasn't really that big.
Costume 15: Kimonos of Matsumiya Love
They only wore this for like 15 seconds or something, but it was an awesome 15 seconds. It involved Nino throwing Jun to the floor and climbing on top of him.
Costume 16: We Like Short Shorts
The thing is, if you're going to put a bunch of teenage boys into incredibly tight gold sequined shorts, it's a genius idea to have them playing the drums at crotch-level at the time, to warrant a whole bunch of close-up shots on the said shorts.
They are really tight shorts.
...sorry, where was I???
Costume 17: Arashi Should Be A Punk Band
Because Aiba dressed as a punk? Hottest thing ever.
And Nino dressed as a punk? Also the hottest thing ever.
And the two of them being punks together?? Hotter than the sum of their very hot parts!!
Gah, Suppin Arashi is awesome!
Costume 18: Rocky Arashi Picture Sho
Maybe I've built up a tolerance to Arashi's costumes, because up until this point, my brain hadn't exploded once from them. Okay, so there was Matsuclown and the hula pants and the Shiny Gold Shiny, but they just seemed Arashish and cute. I really think they were just lulling us into a false sense of security for this.
I feel that this may be the start of something beautiful.
It's wrong, but the thing that really disturbs me is that fake skin-coloured bit under Ohno's top.
It's okay to lust after Chibi!Sho too.
I love how he has the waist of his Tommy Hilfiger undies showing, he's such a gangsta, yo.
Costume 19: Aerodynamic Cowboys
Nino wants to know why the hell his hat has to be 20 times bigger than his head.
It's so you can FLY, Nino! Fly like a pretty butterfly!
Sho looks good as a cowboy.
So does Aiba. But then, Aiba can wear pretty much anything. It's the power of his awesome.
But Matsujun refuses to wear the ridiculously oversized hat. This is clearly how he got the fashionista reputation, because it sure wasn't from the pink bike shorts.
And Ohno?? He just looks like the most adorable thing ever. See how his hat is flopping down on one side but not the other? He's cuter than puppies!! He's like 20 years old here, right?
He is so cute that his members can't stop molesting him.
This is, of course, another pattern that hasn't changed. And rightly so.
Toma: If this is the sort of crap you have to wear, I hope I never debut.
Number of Outfits: 19
Ant's Awesomeness Rating: 4 sparkly stars out of 5
Conclusion: A very good beginning!
SPRING CONCERT
Costume 1: The Wedding Cake Is Alive And It Hates You
Remember my theory on the costume designer having a grudge against Nino?
THE COAT IS TRYING TO EAT HIM!!! SOMEBODY SAVE HIM, QUICK!! Luckily, Matsujun comes to the rescue, but he has problems of this own to deal with.
Costume 2: Ground Control to Major Arashi
This costume stems from the idea somebody once had for a drama where Arashi were crime-fighters IN SPACE! Okay, I just made that up. But it would be awesome.
The universe is in your hands, Arashi. Use it well.
Costume 3: They Save the Good Material Scraps for KAT-TUN (Or at least they will, some day.)
Somebody took a shirt, a quite decent shirt, and then stuck bits on it. Furry bits and ruffly bits. Then they took pants and stuck other bits on them too. But there is Ohmiya touching, so it's okay. Also, if you squint, you can see that Matsujun is doing the shirtless thing here.
Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's CRIME-FIGHTING ARASHI IN SPACE!!! (Come on, you know you want it.)
Costume 4: Aiba is Made of Two Parts Win, One Part Sex
This looks like a perfectly normal, slightly retro-type outfit for Aiba's solo, right?
HANG ON, WHAT IS THAT ON HIS CROTCH??? It's a leftover bit of material from the previous costumes and they thought they'd just stick it there to be friendly!
Costume 5: Rapper, Newscaster, Cheerleader
Sakurai Sho can do anything. And yes, that is Ueda in the bridesmaids dress behind him.
Costume 6: Oversized Yellow Jacket
It has weird gathered bits. But he wears it well.
Costume 7: MickeyJun? MatsuMouse?
The big hands will also be returning.
All these costumes were only worn for like 8.2 seconds, so I don't really have much to say about them.
Costume 8: Stop, in the Name of LOL
Nino looks fine here, not just because we can't see the spangly silver fringe on his croppy demin jacket, but because WHAT THE HELL, THE JUNIORS ARE DRESSED AS ROAD SIGNS!!!
Costume 9: Xanadu
This would be Aiba, dressed as the White Witch from "The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe" and ON ROLLERSKATES. Or possibly lolerskates, I'm not even sure anymore.
Costume 10: Sparkly Kimonos
They're neither here nor there, really, just very sparkly.
Costume 11: Red Suits, Part 2
This time everyone gets to wear them, not just Ohno. I kind of like them.
Costume 12: Nino is Dapper, or Possibly Colonel Sanders
While I'm not really saying much of interest, I'll use this time to explain how I'm not actually being totally Nino-biased in this concert, it's just that whoever filmed the fancam really loved Nino. Which is understandable, because Nino is awesome. But I did my best to get the other members in.
Costume 13: Sho is Dapper, or Possibly the Messiah
He starts out as a mobster, right, but then goes into this whole Christian imagery bit. I think he's been watching too many Madonna videos or something. But he rips his shirt open in the process, so nobody minds too much. Also, there is chair dancing and that is always good.
Costume 14: Vegetables and Pyjamas, the Dream Collaboration
There is no reason for this, other than Arashi look adorable dancing with giant carrots and corn cobs and things. Unless it's a song about eating a well-balanced diet and I just didn't catch that bit. At any rate, it makes as much sense as the Juniors being road signs.
Then there's this whole interpretive dance bit of Nino punching Ohno and the rest of Arashi and the Juniors getting revenge on Nino by beating him up. It's pretty awesome, but I think it would've been better if they'd have had some chair dancing in there somewhere. Anyway, the suits look comfortable and pyjama-like.
Costume 15: Hey, Say Jumpsuits!
Well, there's no actual HSJ, because they would've been like two years old at this point, and Ohno's isn't in a jumpsuit, but he looks really good. He should wear black more often. Nino looks like he's going to paint the garage or something. And Jun, well he's special.
Costume 16: Happy Twirly Ohno Chest
For the first half of Ohno's solo I was like "why is he wearing an oversized shirt, that is such a waste of hotness", and then he started with the pretty twirly dancing and the shirt went all wooshy and showing off the chest, and then I was happy. XD I know I sound like an airhead. I'm really okay with that.
Costume 17: Trash Monster Christmas Aliens
It's Matsujun's solo, so obviously there are going to be layers of awesomeness, right? The first layer is that of Matsujun's shiny gold suit. The second layer is the fact that he's decorated his microphone stand in frilly.
And the third??? The third is that the other members are wearing THIS...
That would be COLOURFUL ALUMINIUM FOIL... something, I don't even know what... WITH LEOPARD PANTS!! I really wish I had this in HQ, if only so I could work out WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON! They look a little bit like that trash monster thing from Fraggle Rock (if anybody remembers that), only shinier and more colourful!
My mind is officially blown. Not even Ohno can wear that well.
Costume 18: Army of TARDIS
So, there's this long interpretive dance bit, wherein the Juniors try to shoot Arashi for making them wear silly costumes. Matsujun avoids this by escaping into the TARDIS. Because he'd make a really great 11th Doctor and he's hotter than Billie Piper.
Arashi really wear army well.
Especially Nino. He should show his arms more often. I totally didn't mean to make a lame pun then.
Costume 19: Random Use of the Union Jack
I really like these jackets. Ohno's sets off his shoulders well and Nino doesn't look wider than he is tall.
Sho's jacket is best though, I kind of want it for myself.
Costume 20: Trekking in the Andes
These look snuggly. I would love to know what Aiba just said to Nino here.
Number of Outfits: 20 (possibly more, they were swapping them so fast at one point that I may have missed a couple)
Ant's Awesomeness Rating: 2.5 sparkly stars out of 5, mostly because my screencaps suck
Conclusion: But seriously, what the hell were those things????
JOIN THE STORM/ALL OR NOTHING
Costume 1: Dapper Suits of Much Dapperness
At least once a day I'm reminded that Matsujun is actually incredibly hot, and I'm always surprised. I don't know why.
Somehow, Arashi make the one-glove thing super hot and not super lame. And I really want to make a One Love/Glove pun here, but I'm restraining myself. Mostly because I can't think of anything funny.
Costume 2: Super Colourful Trackies of Happiness
Sometimes it makes me happy just looking at them. Especially when they're impersonating kangaroos.
You do realise that one day, Matsujun will rule the world. It will be a world that is equal parts terrifying, hilarious and awesome.
Costume 3: More Like Pinocchio Than Bambi
This outfit really reminds me of a Disney movie. I don't know why. It reminds me of cobbling shoes and magic beans and things like that. I think it's the belt.
Costume 4: A no Arashi (the A is for Awesome)
A no Arashi coats with pyjamas.
At first glance, I thought the pyjamas were zebra-striped, but I was disappointed. The zebra-stripes come later. Also? I kind of want to marry Ohno.
Costume 5: Fluffy Rainbow Love
Basically, if you don't think this is the cutest thing you've seen in your life, it means you have no soul
It's cuter than puppies.
It's cuter than kittens.
It's cuter than PUPPIES AND KITTENS SNUGGLING TOGETHER!!! WITH NEWBORN BABIES!
It's even cuter than CHINEN!!!! AND THAT'S JUST TOO DAMN CUTE!
Nino looks like a cute little fluffy chicken!!! These are the greatest outfits EVER!
Costume 6: This is
How hilarious would it be if like Matsujun got stuck inside the glass box and couldn't get out???
They really want to be IN SPACE, I tell you!!
IN SPACE, FIGHTING CRIME!
Costume 7: Randomly Ugly Green Tracksuit Thing
Another one of those "hardly worth capping because it's kind of boring and they only wear it for two seconds" costumes, BUT I AM DETERMINED TO BE THOROUGH!
Costume 8: Sgt Arashi's Lonely Hearts Club Band
This was unfortunately only worn for a second too, and I couldn't get a good cap of it, but it looked awesome. It was like your basic sequined military coat type thing.
I just realised that is possibly shouldn't seem normal to use the word "basic" along with "sequined military coat".
Costume 9: Bike Riding Again
So, my mother really loves that bike rider guy with the funny name.. Kadel Evans??? She's like he's so amazing and he works really hard and this type of thing, and I was like yeah, but he's not in Arashi! Arashi could ride the Tour De France while doing concerts and dramas and being magos and things. This has nothing to do with the screencap in question, only that Arashi are clearly more awesome than any bike rider ever, and they wear lycra so much better!
Costume 10: Back in Black
They look super good in black.
Costume 11: Yellow Jackets, Black Pants and Dapper Hats
The main point to note is CHAIR DANCING, FTW!
Costume 12: The Red Suit Strikes Back
One day, they might even grow into them!
This time with added snowmen and Juniors carrying candy cane rakes! ...I think.
Costume 13: Everyone Wants To Be A Punk
Sorry, Bambi, I'm not convinced.
Aiba, on the other hand? Hell yeah.
Costume 14: Zebra + Flame Thrower = Total Win
Speaking of Aiba, this has to be the greatest solo ever. It's Aiba, in a zebra coat, with a flame-thrower!!!
That's right. A FLAME-THROWER!
That is the most genius combination of three things ever in the world.
Ever. Also, I didn't get a cap of it, but the JUNIORS ARE DRESSED AS COWS! AND THEY'RE DANCING COW-STYLE! I don't even need to know why.
Costume 15: Nino's jacket actually fits
He reminds me a bit of Ben Lee here, only, you know, not an annoying try-hard. I really like this jacket.
Also? I am obsessed with his chin-mole.
Nino's chin-mole and not Ben Lee's, obviously.
Costume 16: Nice suit, short tie
I like this suit. I meant to take more caps of it, only I got distracted by one of the Juniors possibly being Akanishi Jin but not being able to tell for sure.
Also? This is adorable. Hello, Tackey!
Costume 17: Fuzzy Green Gangster Love
I'm not sure what this is. Is it wool, is it some weird sort of fuzzy nylon stuff or something? It looks amazingly soft and Ohno looks amazingly good in green. I like the red scarf too. Two thumbs up!!
Ah, he's amazing! How the hell can he balance like that?
Maybe it's tweed??? I'm totally not just talking about the outfit because otherwise I'd just spazz on about how pretty he looks. But should it be so adorable that Ohno has a machine gun, or am I actually smitten beyond reason??
Costume 18: But Where Is The Sparkly?
Ah, I love this outfit! I love the coat and scarf! He looks really good in blue. His hair looks super nice here too.
Even the plaid-at-the-front-but-not-at-the-back pants are kind of cool. It all looks so nice that it kind of disappoints me. Maybe there were repercussions from the trash-monster-space-alien incident.
Costume 19: Convicts of Hotness
Arashi have been convicted of CRIMES AGAINST FASHION! OH NOES!! They are sentences to ten years of hard labour! YOU SHOULD'VE USED THE JUNIORS AS HUMAN SHIELDS!! THEY WERE THE ONES DRESSED AS TRAFFIC CONES AND THINGS!
I really like these, even though they're kind of shapeless and dull. I think it's the buttons, I really like the buttons. And Ohno wears it particularly well.
Number of Outfits: 19
Ant's Awesomeness Rating: 3.5 sparkly stars out of 5
Conclusion: Matsujun kept his shirt on, what??
POLLS!
[Poll #1245358]
Next up, Part 2: Arashi the not-so-early years!!